Thursday, September 09, 2004
everything is finally coming to an end tonight.. hope so.. im feeling so shit for having drag this issue on for so many months.. it's a painful painful tearful night... 2 years 7 months.. it may seems like it's only yesterday.. but b4 i can realise that.. it's already 2 years 7 months.. many did not know... feeling really painful now.. there's only pain and sorrow.. it's had been the hell for me for the past few months..for the past few months.. so many setback for me.. so many unhappy occasions.. that turns my life upside down.. he's been my mental pillar support.. he arent aware of it.. but i am... nevertheless.. past few months was also the the time when few happy occasion takes place... but no matter what.. now it's finally the time to let go after so long.. so many months.. it's a major decision for me.. it wasnt a easy 1.. i had enough of everything.. to stuck in this bloody situation.. when it's getting no where for the both of us.. all these while.. i had been pinning a little hope on our future.. and sumhow.. i see no future for the both of us.. definately.. not now.. and i guess... this shall really be the time.. for me to let go.. and gets on.. life still goes on.. it's shall be a part of my growing process... it's juz fated tat we're not meant to be together.. it's now the time when i wan to LEAD MY OWN LIFE.. i wanna lead a beautiful life.. juz like the others.. i wanna be as caREFREE as i can.. i shall carry on with the wonderful life that my parent had award me upon birth.. otherwise it shall be painful forever.. tonight is finally the time.. when i ask him to let me go.. tell me it's all over.. coz i dun wan to get stuck at this deep shit forever...i really hope that tonight shall be the last time i gonna get involve in all this nonsense.. there's so much feeling arousing within me.. and yet im so speechless.. i know it may be diffcult for me to accept him as a fren and nuthings more than fren... but i will try.. i will try very very hard... i wanna be a beautiful.. pretty.. attractive.. gorgeous LIBRAN..CHRISTINA.. afterall i should live up to my name.. to the impression that i alway give the others... cHEERFUL!!... i juz hope life gets better for me..yEs it will!!.. the peakest point of my life should start here.. and for that.. i need lots of encouragement and support from pple around me.. dear friends.. i seriously need that.. but no doubts... my Life still goEs on.. for a bettER me.. in a BeTTEr waY..
*Heartbreak* TOast
*Heartbreak* TOast